| Comments: |
I think maybe someone nominated this in a previous year, but after reading the below description, you will see this film clearly merits reconsideration:
Elves, 1989
'Elves is a perfect storm of everything that could conceivably go wrong while shooting a movie all going wrong at the same time. It’s got everything: Anti-Christmas witches, neo-Nazi scientists, inarticulate elf puppets and a plot to bring about a “pint-sized master race” by breeding Nazi elves with a virgin. The characters are awesomely ludicrous, none more so than Dan “Grizzly Adams” Haggerty who plays an alcoholic bum/mall Santa/former mall-cop/former private eye who also happens to recognize symbols scrawled on the ground in blood thanks to “a book in college I remember on mystical symbols and runes.” Stumbling onto filmmaking this sincere but inept is like winning the bad movie lottery.
Most festive offense: There’s a dozen great moments you could choose, but I love when Haggerty barges into a professor’s home during Christmas dinner and makes the guy (dressed like the conductor from Shining Time Station) explain “the connection between the elves and the Nazis.” There’s an amazing cutaway shot to the professor’s two little girls staring intently up at him right at the moment he starts talking about the genetic properties of elf sperm.' |
